Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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