you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
As shirtless as possible
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
