It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
