chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize