im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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