You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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