Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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