Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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