i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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