I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
