In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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