The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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