The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
