i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
