I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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