Where did you get a picture of my penis
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
