I just made out with a guy for $7.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
