Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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