I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
