All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize