Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
