The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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