My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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