Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
