So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
