Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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