never play flip cup with pint glasses
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
