last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
