I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize