It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
