Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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