i permit you to call me
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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