She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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