Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
