Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
