Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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