So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
