I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
im holly from the hills drunk
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize