I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
