I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I need to calm my uterus...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
