We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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