seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
