Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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