put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize