Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
