I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
