Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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