whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
