I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
