i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
im about as happy as oj after his trial
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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