just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
