Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
