he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Green mimosas i think yes
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
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