They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize