Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
