she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
