dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
