Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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