Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
