Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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