Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
i need to put some appletini on your dick
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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