God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
