why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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