we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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