you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
